How to strengthen your child’s mental health
Encouraging children to express their feelings and providing them with a safe space are vital in boosting their emotional resilienceAccording to the WHO, 10 to 20 percent of children and adolescents experience mental disorders, with half of all mental illnesses beginning by the age of 14. As the world battles a pandemic, it is more important now than ever to help our children maintain a healthy outlook. Ahead of World Mental Health Day on October 10, we seek out advice from five local professionals on how to nurture the younger generation mentally and emotionally.
Read more: Where to find mental health resources in Hong Kong
Lolita Schmalenberg, Lifespan Counselling
Social worker and therapist Lolita Schmalenberg has worked extensively with children, teens, and families at international schools in Hong Kong and Mainland China. She is now part of a boutique psychology group practice that offers support for a wide range of topics including addiction, stress, parent and child conflict, marital and other relationship issues.
How does child therapy differ from adult therapy?
Therapy with a child or teen follows the same ethical standards as with adult clients. We consider the unique needs of the child but tend to be a bit more creative in our approach. Depending on their age, we will consider the length of a session, often putting in exercise breaks, a game or offering shorter sessions.
How might Covid-19 impact a child’s mental health?
Most children and teens have moments of self doubt or uncertainty. Changes in expectations at school, home and with peers are some of the more common reasons a young person may find themselves feeling unsettled or mildly anxious. Pandemic seclusion may coalesce with other factors, such as boredom from lack of ‘brick and mortar’ schooling, missing peers, missing extracurricular activities and extended family members.
What role does family life play in children’s mental health?
Family health and functioning play a major role in a child’s mental wellness. Parental interaction with a child directly impacts the child’s sense of self worth and can lead to permanent and pervasive problems if family relationships are dysfunctional. In our busy world, we are seeing more and younger children feeling isolated and lonely. Kids are occupied by ‘things’, but missing time with people that they care about the most.
Dr Ivan Chow, family medicine specialist
Dr Ivan Chow is a physician in family medicine who has worked in primary care extensively. He treats his patients with a holistic approach, managing their physical, emotional, spiritual and social aspects to better health and combat disease. Currently, he is based at a private outpatient clinic in Central which provides primary and speciality care services.
What can parents do to encourage a healthy mental outlook?
Parents should instil a sense of stability and safety in their children. They should be a positive role model and help them express feelings at their own pace. Continue engaging in regular daily routines to maintain predictability and avoid worries due to uncertainty.
What signs suggest a child is being bullied?
Several signs suggest bullying. Physical signs include unexplained bruises, cuts, scratches, missing or damaged belongings and clothes. Emotional and behavioural signs include frequent tears or anger, mood swings, feeling ill in the morning, becoming aggressive and unreasonable.
How can we minimise the disruption caused by Covid-19?
Schools have been temporarily closed for some time and a lot of classwork is done online. Parents do not need to spend seven or eight hours a day to instruct children, but it is a good idea to set aside some time each day to work on school assignments. This will add a little bit of structure to the day.
Priya McPolin and Holly Mak, Common Care Central
Priya McPolin and Holly Mak are based at Common Care Central, an online mental health resource to help those needing a convenient and affordable form of therapy. McPolin has a background in international education whose focuses include autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression and relationship issues. Mak is a social-emotional support counsellor who focuses on anxiety management, self-esteem and relationship issues for adolescents and adults.
What should parents who have concerns about their children’s mental health do?
Parents should encourage open and honest discussions about feelings. Actively listening and showing empathy to a child can help validate their feelings. If the child has difficulty communicating their emotions, drawing pictures can be a good way to express themselves.
How can parents better connect with their children?
Gratitude journalling is proven to increase happiness, build resilience, improve self-esteem and increase general wellbeing. Children can start as young as six years old, listing three things they enjoyed doing that day. Decorating a journal can be a fun art project for children and helps create a sense of ownership and commitment. Also consider scheduling more family time as this will strengthen their support network and family bonds.
How can we help children deal with the disruption caused by Covid-19?
Parents should open up a safe space to talk about difficult feelings – acknowledging the feelings, identifying them and exploring how they might be handled. They should also sustain as much regularity as possible within the day and week, especially when it comes to daily wake-up, meal and bedtimes.
Read more: How to cope with anxiety about coronavirus
Glen Heyburgh, Centre Minds
Growing up, Glen Heyburgh was always compassionate and ready to help others. After fighting his own battles, he decided to study psychology to give back to society. Heyburgh joined Centre Minds in 2018 and is now a listening ear to those who feel alone, unheard, unwelcome or fearful. While Centre Minds does not specialise in children’s therapy, it offers young adult and family therapy.
What should parents who have concerns about their children’s mental health do?
Looking at how often a behaviour occurs, how long it lasts and the intensity of the mood can help you to decide whether there is a problem. When problems occur over a few weeks and interfere with a child’s ability to function, parents should be concerned. In addition, if a child’s moods or behaviours start interfering with their ability to keep friends, it is probably time to seek help.
How does children’s therapy differ from adult therapy?
Talk therapy, which is often used with adults, doesn’t work with kids – they get bored sitting still and don’t have so much insight when talking about their past. Child therapy relies on the language of play. To parents, this may look ridiculous, but the fact is that a child will grow more through a difficult experience by sitting with a good therapist and playing a game, rather than being asked to talk about their feelings.
What is play therapy and how can it benefit a child?
Therapeutic play helps children with social or emotional deficits learn to communicate better, change their behaviour, develop problem-solving skills and relate to others in positive ways. It can aid children with academic and social problems, learning disabilities, behavioural disorders, anxiety, depression, grief or anger.
